Use Your Words

God gave us words
So I use them
He gave us language
Communication
A means of elaboration
We used to have grunts
Points
Voice inflections
The only method to ask mom for protection
Then
God gave us words
A method of speech specializing in specifying
And once we get good at that
He gave us pens
Or as I call them
Swords
Cuz see the levels here are apparent
So we all start as babes
Eyes wide
Mouth agape
Watching learning listening turning
No wisp of knowledge finds escape
Until we absorb enough to speak legibly
So
Why as grownups
So many of us have trouble talking?
Use your words
Use your words
Tell me your vision of the world
Tell me your favorite book
No one furthers by your silence
Unless your silence falsely perpetrates the perception of your intelligence
In that case
Spare me your words
Show me your actions
But as I write this
I can't help but look back at the times
Peoples actions betrayed me for lack of consistency
With mediocrity people seem content
So what's the equivalent?
What's the mixture?
the solvent?
Can we ph balance our actions and words
So that the actual message is conveyed
So that the feelings involved are never betrayed
Cuz through the bullshit I stayed
With you
Not knowing where we stood
I stayed
With you
Not knowing if my efforts would ever find reward
My love for you cursed me to stand in a room alone night after night
I stayed
Even though you were present by my side
So which hell is worse?
True loneliness
Or the one in which your presence is the boniest
Form of your self
I stayed
Wishing night after night
You would use your words
Use your words
I can't take back what happened
But there was wrong on both sides
Why am i the one who's trying
I used my words
Balanced my actions
I'm here
Further pain we both fear
But the prospect of a future that matches up with our past aspirations
Through our faulty actions
Past the misery we caption
Is simply too tantalizing
So
I'll stay
With you
And use my words
Until you begin to use yours
Again

Passion

I passionately dislike those without passion
Like
How do you live?
What drives you?
Something in you don't spike at the sight
Of something you want?
You don't get that feeling in the pit of your gut?
Actions and the way they transpire doesn't fuel your desire
To conquer?
Damn
That's a sad sight to see
Or maybe
It's a part of you that you just don't show
To me?

Rebel Spirit

I grew up a good kid
Honor rolls
No arrests
Never stole
Tried not to give mom's much trouble
Caught up with power Rangers
Sonic
Ninja turtles
Kiddie shit
Small Apartments
Beginnings humble

So if asked I wouldn't recall
Where this attitude came from
I grew up
Watching movies with Quincy and Monica
Simba and Nala
Got caught in my sentimens
With Nina and Darius
And these are love stories
So I'm not sure where it developed
The rebelliousness

Pops was in the army
Taught yes and no ma'am
Spent a few summers in Coatesville
With my old man
Gave me structure
And a reason to have reasons
Learned the love of chess from my uncle and cousins
And to appreciate the pieces
Losing was death
Or the equivalent of nothing


Around here I heard a saying
Happiness is the pleasure of the ignorant
But still I kept learning till the smell of knowledge grew repugnant
Therein lies the issue
Education been misused
I've been down that yellow brick road and back again
Birthing not a rebel
But a contrarian

Fallen Leaves

I mourn lost poetry like fallen leaves of the last great tree
flowing away in the wind.
Dry tears drop swiftly
Crisply
My children
Never to be seen again
Painstakingly I conceive these worded dreams simultaneously during my daily symphonies
But there are no sympathies for a piece lost and unheard
Dealt an early death falling on death ears
It appears that my mind keeps going
words keep flowing
But forgotten were the files that could never be written the same way again
Never to enhance the same experience
never to be performed in a word dance
I trance as I long for the worded dreams that never washed up on my tongue's shore
Will never reach ears parallel to mine or another minds core
It pains me to lose thee
So unceremoniously
This feeling I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy
For there are no ambler alerts for lost poetry
No news coverage for that little iambic pentameter piece about lost loves and tree canopies
No thousand mile manhunts over the Pacific seas for 100 words that might have comforted a single mother who can't find money to buy food for her kids to eat
After I Painstakingly conceived these worded dreams during my daily symphonies
Still no sympathies for pieces lost and unheard
But as a writer we're expected to churn out more words
Displaced in rhythms recited methodically
Sound poetry quite the anomaly
Without an artist whose seen his seeds flow in the brees
Just to mourn lost poetry like fallen leaves of the last great tree

MindF_cked

She told me her interests
My curiosity budged
Over those loose synapses
Went a few extra drops of blood

She told me her dreams
Her aspirations
My inspiration quivered under the weight of her ambitions

She touched on the buttons of her past successes with tact
My confidence took notice
And took a long deep breath

I was trying to get to know her
This Situation so fresh
But her anecdotes stroked my ego's exposed bare flesh

I commented on my views on the world
Her interest was peaked
As in her hair she twirled
And my composure had leaked

She turned her head to the side
Staring
Searching
Pursed lips
The tiniest bite
Oh my
Almond eyes
And I try
But my thoughts
Restrain these
Feelings caught
Mind strings
Twing
Twung
Plucked
To the tune of her monologue
And it's not what many thought
We talked
About politics
Her intuition swelled
At the flow of my rhetoric
And I had to sip
At the risk
Of losing my cool
Heat between us
Like lightning bugs
Searching for food

Her stance on entertainment feeds me
Batman her favorite superhero
Ambrosia filled cherries
I challenge her opinion
Factually
Chocolate covered strawberries
Her rebuttal strikes at my statements' heart
Vanilla frosting
We
Just short of a Sunday

Then I'm compelled by the music she plays
Prefers words that have meaning
Grounded in poetry

So I tell her I'm a poet
She tells me she knew it
Intensely I've been precisely warming
That pussy
I'm taken back
Cuz she's so foward

This game
She says
Has put her in a position
Says she's close to telling me
Man, just Put the tip in
Inverse chemistry
Got her prohibition on probation
Inverse chemistry like
Force equals Mass times acceleration

Her poet comes out
Says I've been kissing her mind
With our convo
Now her thoughts are squirting
Down the line of time
Predicament sublime
As her subconscious climaxes
And she sees me in her future
Day in and day out she wants to be my tutor

And I like to learn new things
Never before had I felt such a connection
Her brains
Fucked me sideways
Insane
Now I wonder around the confines of my consciousness
Blind deaf and dumb
Cuz she done robbed me
And I stole her
MindF_cked
Now we on the run

Humility Part II

It's funny how we all learn about humility
Some lessons not as poignant as others But some aren't as stoic as others
So maybe their lesson came and went
Money...spent
Clothes...lent
Emotions...sent
Via email
You know we all got them smart phones
Engaged to our hands
But like men they slip up
Like liquor in the cup
Just waiting to be drunk
Matter of time life gets its licks in
Sneaker heads know it
They gonna get they kicks in
Bj Penn
Silva
St pierre
Throw them hands and got some elbows mixed in
Life don't hold back
It goes back and brags about it
Yea I just whipped him
Life death and fate chilling playing super smash brothers
Trippin
Kirby link and mario pulling strings
No hittin
Listening to our plans and saying humans are wicked
Acting like they have control over shit
Sickening

I'm tryna meet Em
And tell Em how I found humility
We met on the corner of faith and heartbreak
Serendipity
at the time I was stuck between arrogance and tranquility
Standing tall in the face of life like
Obstacles were just Mannequins
You know
Life like
Any time a problem come
I Fight fight
Till you win
Then again
Nobody finished with a perfect career
Story ends
Then I spin
Around and see my mindset don't work
For here
There is no perfect
Success equals learning
And just to be sure I got the message
I got pulled down by the Cape
Now I'm guessing

As high as I fly there's always kryptonite
Walked like kings bowed to me
Then Exposed to the green shit
I ain't about that life
Worked on being the best
A labor of pride
But life has no mouth to warn you
Fate no ears to hear your lies
Death no eyes to see your cries
Their plan don't change just cuz you wanna play the game
Shit
They been mario link and Kirby since the beginning of time
Fuck ya plans got over the divine?
Not a damn thing not even a simile
You think you superman
Heres kryptonite
Now that's some humility

iAdmit...

always knew it wouldnt be shits and giggles forever
at some point we'd be giggling shits for better or worse
coerced into being just under the completion percentage
at a century see her and me
told nothing was perfect
so striving for the 99th percentile
seemed worth it

see, cole gave me the catalyst
to tell this story cats have missed
and its imperative
it come out with directness
cuz as i vibe im transported back to them days
like 08
when i was feening for it straight
on the tip of my tongue your essence
i wanted to chase

but shit was real
cuz i was in a situation where happiness was a tuesday-thursday kinda thing
but it made sense to my monday-wednesday-friday brain
damn
what about the weekends?
and im going thru life like i thought i should have
living out dreams that were 5 years old
on paths that had me places i thought i should be
tracing, tip taping along them lines of duality
until they got crossed like Malcolm
and she gave me a taste
mine as well gave me a hand full of spades

heard that song and instantly knew it was a classic
then in my contrarian way
i downplayed it
she had me on some longest crush eva type shit
freshmen year sophomore year
settling
for other chicks
got me up all night
contemplating my life
asking myself do i wanna be tuesday thursday type happy
incomplete
sitting round playing love songs like i was case studying

now my peoples knew my situation and thought it was cool
and im still scared to ruffle feathers
so im playing big bird trying to please everybody
mind still wondering back
like when hip hop had its shit together
im telling myself you cant fight city hall
the establishment runs shit
why go against it

dont let your heart life block
my current chick e&j
but she...ciroc
goes down smooth and thanks me for drinking
this shit deeper then it being cold outside and needing someone to bun
my current chick insignia
but she....samsung
her tats tell of beauty and growth
id be happy to kiss them slowly slow
decision made
hard to be with someone so long and then let them go
my last chick old ass PC
but her...macbook pro
and im punch drunk
head spinning
mind wheeling
brain hurting
heart thumping
seeing stars
my life like a bag of bats
shit crazy
im down in this pit tryna see the sanity that sat above
then it occurred to me

to ask

"would you believe me if i said im in love?"

what?

known her for years but that shit hit like a ton of bricks
and i start spazzin
thinking them useless females' attention would make me snap out of it
like ima fill my heart with the approval of lesser chicks
but her essence still just wouldnt go away
and here we are

"had me up all night....
all im singing was love songs"

and im really down with singing em more
writing more love poems
cuz i cant take that tuesday thursday type love
i thought id be good with the status quo like tax time
but shit with my last chick was like studying poetry for years then
finally learning the meaning of rhyme
useless
she gives me purpose
and everyday i cant help but ask myself

"would you believe me if i said im love?"
hell yes